A friend of ours (and an amazing musician) whose band we shoot, regularly shares his humorous escapades with his friends and family via email. This one was too funny not to share with all of you. Maybe some of you will be able to relate. Check out the link to his my space page at the bottom of the post and take the time to go see him perform. You will not be sorry. Oh, and make sure you shoot him an email if you too have suffered from this odd affliction. Thanks Casey for another really good laugh!
Hello friends and loved ones… I might have a disease. Please don’t get anxious..it is not serious. I think I might be inflicted with what is called MSD (Maple Syrup Disorder) I am not in any pain and I can fully function through my day. However, my body smells like syrup. I found this out after eating Quaker Oats Weight Control Maple Brown Sugar Instant Oatmeal. In an effort to eat a breakfast daily and be healthy, I chose Weight Control Oatmeal during my last trip to Price Chopper.
After eating my first bowl of this oatmeal I was standing in line for a meeting at school and a fellow teacher in front of me said, ‘I smell syrup’. I said nothing, but I quickly pondered in my head the weird coincidence that I had eaten syrup flavored oatmeal only minutes earlier. I quickly told her she was crazy and signed in for my meeting.
Later that day, Lola came over and I greeted her with a hug. As my arms wrapped around her, I could smell my own hands. They smelled like syrup. Lola could smell it too. Please keep in mind that I wash my hands at least a dozen times at school during the day to ward off any kiddie germs. I also showered after work that day.
A few days later I tried the oatmeal again. Same result. After multiple hand washings and a shower, my hands still smelled like syrup. This was validated by Lola and a couple friends. The strong smell lasted for almost 2 days each time.
Yesterday morning, I tried my third and final bowl. As I write this message now the fan in my classroom sends air across my typing hands giving me whiffs of pancake goodness every once and a while.
Enough is enough! This can’t be taken lightly! What would happen if we smelled like everything we eat? There would be no more lying to our spouses about our diet conquests… i.e.
‘What did you have for lunch honey love?’
‘I had a salad with fat free dressing schnookems’
‘Oh really love bug? Then why do you smell like whoppers and cookies?’
‘Give me peace you overbearing woman!!?
‘DON’T LIE TO ME LARDO!’ (see what happens if we let this continue? Marriages and relationships will be destroyed everywhere!)
SO….. I did some research. I have found that numerous other oatmeal eaters have had the same problem with exactly the same weight control brand flavor. What is happening!?!?! Is there some weird preservative that is leaking out of my body? Am I slowly killing myself with each mediocre bite of oatmeal? Will I make people around me crave pancakes every time I walk into a room? This of course is not the legacy I one day want to leave behind…’the bald syrup guy.’
These questions need answers so I called Quaker Oats. Tyrone, the customer service rep, had no idea what I was talking about…that is no surprise. However he was interested in what I had to say. He took statements from me such as
me-’It feels like syrup molecules are seeping through my body’
Tyrone- ‘You can feel it’ he asked.
ME – ‘No, I can’t feel it, but I think that is what is happening because I can’t wash it off the skin so it must be coming from inside my body’
Tyrone -’maybe, I guess’
ME – ‘MAYBE!?!’
Tyrone – ‘Well I don’t know’
ME – ‘Yeah! Me neither’
After a 10 minute conversation we decided that the best way to handle this was to have me call back with the information from the box I have at home and in the meantime he was going to send me some coupons for my syrupy troubles. He took my phone number and said someone would call me with answers. I am guessing a scientist, doctor, or perhaps Wilford Brimley.
While I wait to see what the answer to this mystery is I challenge you to try some for yourself. I am not crazy! People all over the internet have left comments and blogs complaining that they too smell like syrup after eating this oatmeal. Search it yourself! I googled ‘eat oatmeal and smell like syrup’ Go to your local store, buy some Maple Brown Sugar Weight Control Oatmeal and eat it. Then smell yourself. It is amazing and also very very creepy. Thanks for your time. I am going to IHOP.
Caseywww.myspace.com/caseytoddmusic
